The sun is shining, and I manage to move my office outside for a little while yesterday, I realised how much I am missing last year, believe it or not. Sitting in the garden with Jon, muddling through the covid experience and just being alone and together. Of course it wasn’t easy, and at the the time I worried. But now as I look back I wish I had spent more time ‘living it’ and not trying to get through it. This year is so different, Jon is back at work, Ethan isn’t coming into the office every day and it is just me and the dogs.
I find I am starting to really look at what I want and don’t want. Last year I spoke to a lot of people who where reassessing their life, defining their new path but at that time I was concentrating on survival mode, growth and development. I won’t lie I was a little jealous of their paid sabbaticals and freedom to enjoy their hobbies. But now as things have calmed down and the energy has changed across the globe, I am looking at my own situation and realise, my life has also changed considerably. What I was focusing on in 2019, what my energy was called towards no longer holds joy for me, and I want to make some personal adjustments before it is too late. Before I get sucked back into the humdrum of life.
Although sometimes change disturbs us to the core, learning to leave and let go of what we know and what we are. Is the hardest thing, but before any change can happen we must. In other words it is bloody difficult.
It is all about Trust
Trust that when we leap into the unknown there will be something to catch us, trust that we don’t have the answers but we will always be ok, trust that we can’t control everything, but that we don’t need to.
Trust in the decisions you make, trust in the ability you have, trust in the universe and most importantly trust in yourself. I painted this surrealistic painting and it symbolises my current situation. I hope you like.
The thing that last year has taught me is that I can embrace anything and allow it to happen, without fear.
After last year, I find I need to make changes, and one of those is the decision to see the here and now, the today, with the sun shining, where I can work outside in my garden with the dogs, and birds for company.
One day Jon will be with me too, writing away as I paint beside him. This is my dream, or maybe it is my reality.
My hope is that you find the courage to take the leap, trust in yourself and do what you know deep down you should. Find joy in what you do.
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